there's paper in my vomit.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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