Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize