Me too!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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