ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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