I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
