Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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