I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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