last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
