I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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