No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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