you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
