Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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