Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
