if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
