I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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