she told me i tasted like america
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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