i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
