i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
