If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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