I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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