I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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