I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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