Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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