What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
