Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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