just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
