he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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