He kissed a someone with a penis
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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