I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
