I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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