and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
