EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
