There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
