her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
