i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i came on her dog
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
