I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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