See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
