Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
