I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh god it's open bar.
wow bdsm is so cute
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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