trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
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