i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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