Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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