hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
