Your tits are I can't wait for
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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