Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
