Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.

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(707): View more from California

My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

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(718): View more from New York

at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.

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(585): View more from New York

Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello

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(303): View more from Colorado

accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.

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(315): View more from New York

Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...

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(+61): View more from Australia

He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today

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(208): View more from Idaho

It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.

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