Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
