buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
