just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
