ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
