It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
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oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
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GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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