there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
