i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
