i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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