Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
