Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
