i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
