I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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