david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
