walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
