i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
