i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
