She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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