So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
