I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
