I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
