the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
