I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
