Can Purell be used as lube?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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